http://www.cucug.org/amiga/amiinfo/monitor/am1_10htm/cyber.htm (Amiga Plus Extra No. 5, 08/1997)By Cyberella, Contributing Writer, c/o The Amiga Monitor
"Hi, my name is ---------, and I'm an online junkie!!!" (in the spirit of Alcoholics Anonymous). Hey, when you get as little sleep as I do, lines like that are funny (nothing like laughing at your own jokes...). No, really, when you're up until beep-o'clock and ya know your alarm's gonna haul you out of bed at ludicrous-o'clock, must be you think it's worth it...I've got "monitor hangover" from staring at the CRT until the wee hours. Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "drag and drop". You know what it's like: something weird happens to your electroencephalo's under "the influence", some hypnotic "thingie", the Real World isn't anymore, all your attention's riveted to the itty bitty quasi-TV in front of you...c'mon, you know it's true....ever have someone interrupt you when you're hardwired? "Huh...? You say something?" But it was worth it....'cause I'm in loooooooooooove 90's style!
That's right, me 'n' my e-love-ed are doing the late-night cyber shuffle when "normal" people are having real dates (ooooo! What a concept...). Is it "real" love? Oh, I don't know....let's consult THEsaurus ("Love: the feeling which animates a person who is genuinely fond of someone or something"...anyone else have Final Writer?). Well, WHATever...it's not that I don't have guys puttin' the moves on, but I'm looking for an intellectual equal, and who wants to date someone from work?
Seriously, now, what with all my responsibilities, plus the work I have to do at home, I haven't had time in ages to work on a "real" relationship, plus I don't have money to spare on a babysitter (so much computer stuff, so little capital...). And ever since "flat rate" entered the arena, my Visa is everywhere I wanna be....twenty bucks a month hey! So, when all through the house not a creature was stirring, I started web wandering, wwwaltzing and chat checking...and then I found Hal (names have been changed to protect the guilty and you know who you are so there!!).
Chat rooms are strange places...I mean, people actually synchronize their coffee-makers, ya know? They've made better writers out of some of us...we don't get to see the faces (hey, they might be sticking their tongue out at you, how would you know?) so we gotta really pack a phrase to make up for the lack of proximity...CyberSex is such a cheesy buzzword (I like "si-i-i-i-ghbersex", myself) but these people would spawn a whole new generation of romance novelists! "Oh, baby ooooooooooo yeah!" could get a little lame after the first dozen or so times, so people are getting inventive...in public rooms, yet! Geez, you'd think they'd find a Hivemind Hotel room. Hal and I "see" each other in private you bet...if the "kids" could walk in on us, by the time we've thrown a Virtual Blanket over us, the Mood is deleted, uh huh.....
What can I tell you about my hi-tech honey? Why, he's my Prints Charming....see, he sent me pictures (downloadable Epson magic, I can paper the walls with his image....maybe on the ceiling wink wink, nudge nudge). He's sooooo handsome...I think he is...I think it's him...what if it's not him? Does it matter?...I can tell I'm yakking from left field...maybe I should get more than three hours of sleep...my eyes are misting over...or is that reality blurring? It's so hard...get home tonight, it's too easy, walking in a dream: reach out, reach out and power up...does this sound like an addiction? (www.alcoholics-anonymous.org) ...I mean, sure, I have an addictive personality. I play the lottery...(a dollar and a dream, you bet). UH oh...AA's question number one, already: "Have you ever decided to stop...for a week or so, but only lasted a couple of days?". Quick! The "denial" key combo "control F4"...
Hardly any of my friends IRL know about my digital darlin'...how can you tell a blind man about color? The ones that do know give me that sly smile when they say, "Hey....your line was busy again last night..." How different is it from the wartime romances that developed over pen and paper? That's how Gram met Gramps....nobody made fun of them; for that matter, she was called a patriot! The times, they are a-changin'...
Hey, look, I really gotta run..."I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date..."
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