Portable Spittoon - Totally Absurd

	Let's face it. Smoking has become politically incorrect. It seems like every place you go now, there is the ever-so-polite, "please, no smoking". Even your friends shoo you out onto the porch to smoke! Don't get angry, just take up a different bad habit - chewing tobacco! The problem with chewing tobacco: spitting. A lot of spitting. The solution: a portable spittoon patented in 1983! Now you can chew and spit tobacco, anywhere you please! No more back porches and lobbies for you, buddy!				Don't worry about your friends being revolted by your new habit either; at dinner time they'll appreciate you hiding your spittoon on the floor under the table. Better than using their good china, right? This spittle receptacle can clip right onto your favorite armchair making it perfect for watching the game - just sputter into the funnel. Bring it with you on a date in it's convenient carrying case for a great conversation piece. "Wanna see how much I just spit in the past five minutes?" Hey, this is better than smoking !!!